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August 2011  Hi there... If you’re new to BeHappy! or this newsletter, welcome! I’m Jimmy, and my mission is to improve your life by making it a bit happier - or, better yet, a lot happier - everyday.I am a doctor, “rejuvenating” corporate executive, entrepreneur, author, and speaker. My wife (Jill), our four-year-old daughter (Joie), our 20-month old second daughter (Jae), and our golden retriever (Sunny) live in Tampa Florida and Newport Beach California (we alternate locations every month – so we travel a lot). Through this newsletter, my website, my books, E-Coaching, and other BeHappy! products, I am committed to improving the lives of as many people as possible. So, I would love to hear from you on how your life has changed by using the BeHappy! system, or how I can help improve your life more by making the system even better.
Please go to BeHappy101.com (or see the yellow box at the end of the newsletter) to provide your comments, suggestions, stories, or thoughts and I’ll respond to you personally – as appropriate - as soon as possible. Here’s to your happiness and to having the kind of life you want to have! BeHappy! my friends 
INTRODUCTION (for new subscribers) The purpose of this newsletter is to provide a regular and consistent supplement to the action-oriented process found in my website - www.behappy101.com - and in my first book, simply called BeHappy! It is intended to make a powerful contribution to the amount of joy and fulfillment in your daily life by providing regular tools, reminders, and strategies to:
Since my goal is to help make people happier, however, it is best to get the book to use along with the website to achieve maximum benefit from the plan (yes, that’s partly a sales pitch — but it’s true).
HAPPINESS FACTS
Follow Up from the Last Edition of The BeHappy! Newsletter The last edition of this newsletter in May was the second part of a year-long (6 or 7 part) program designed to provide a step-by-step “formula” for increasing your happiness significantly. The first part of the series was the February edition, which laid out a “happiness formula” – literally and equation anyone can use to gauge their own happiness and then develop a plan to improve that level of happiness (or unhappiness). Since this is a “series”, then, to achieve the best possible result, it is important to read those two previous editions to really understand it all fully. So please, to get the most benefit out of this process, and be living your happiest possible life by this time next year, go back and read the February and May editions of this newsletter if you haven’t read them already. It will make a big difference. You can read the introduction to this series (the February edition) by clicking here and the first step of the process (the May edition) by clicking here. The basis of this whole process is a formula I have developed – an actual “equation” - for achieving and monitoring your level of happiness. That formula is: H = (G + DH + C + 3R) ÷ 6 At this point, I have to assume you have read the previous two editions since to try to recap everything will become very complicated as we continue through the process. The bottom line for this “review of the last edition” is that from the February and May editions of the newsletter you should have the following:
Now, on to the topic for this edition... Are You As Happy As You Can Be? (Part 3) That’s the basic question we are asking (and answering) in this year-long (7-Part) series, which started in February and will go until next February. So now it’s time to take the next step. But let me warn you; this process starts to get pretty “intense” and “challenging”. And this may be the most challenging part of the process (which is part of the reason I am a month late with this edition of the newsletter). But don’t let that stop you. This is your life we’re dealing with here. So once again, the “happiness formula” is ... H = (G + DH + C + 3R) ÷ 6 ... where “H” stands for Happiness, “G” stands for Gratitude, and now, “DH” represents your Definition of Happiness - which is the topic for this edition of the newsletter. And it’s one of the most important – and potentially most difficult – parts of the process. Believe it or not, most people don’t really know what would make them truly happy in life. People usually think they know, but really don’t. That’s why your personal Definition of Happiness is a critical step in the process.  As this graph indicates, to be as happy as possible, we must both eliminate unhappiness AND increase happiness. Gratitude, as shown in the graph (and discussed in the May edition) handles most – if not all – of the elimination of unhappiness. In other words, the more grateful you are as a person, the less unhappy you will be. And the May edition of the newsletter helps you eliminate or minimize unhappiness by increasing your level of gratitude. Certainly, gratitude also increases your level of happiness to some extent (there is an overlap here), but the goal of BeHappy! is not to just make you less unhappy – or even content – in your life. The goal here is to make you as happy as you could possibly be ... to literally be “ecstatic” with your life, and feel totally fulfilled on a consistent and frequent basis. That requires that you both eliminate unhappiness AND increase authentic happiness. Knowing what really makes you happy (or could make you happy) is a key component of the process. And as I stated above, I call this your own personal Definition of Happiness. Your Definition of Happiness Most people think they know what would make them happy in life. Unfortunately, studies show that most people are wrong about it. People almost automatically think that money, fame, the right relationship, the perfect job, less stress, more balance in life, and/or great health will make them happy. And, for some people, some of those things might make them happier. But for most people, while some of those things could improve life (either a little or a lot) they may not truly bring total happiness. The key word there is truly. Because true happiness is much different from contentment, temporary feelings of joy (even frequent), or life satisfaction. True happiness is much deeper and more profound, providing a sense of complete fulfillment and total passion with every aspect of your life. That’s why everyone MUST develop their own personal Definition of Happiness...because if not, you may just be trying to get somewhere you don’t necessarily need (or want) to be.
The Process The process of creating your true Definition of Happiness involves 5 steps designed to help you understand what happiness means to you (or could mean to you). The five steps are:
The important issue here is to identify the most important factors relating to your happiness. Again, though, it’s not what just makes you feel better temporarily. It’s important to identify the factors that really make you happy for the long-term. So please read on and continue with the "Actions" described below to help you take this next step in our “year-long” happiness process which, if you really do it, will change your life forever. These actions will take you through the 5 steps, one at a time over the next 60 days, to design your true Definition of Happiness. BeHappy! ACTIONS TO TAKE UNTIL THE NEXT ISSUE OF THIS NEWSLETTER Like everything in life, the old saying, “practice makes perfect” applies to happiness, too. By using the tools and concepts in BeHappy! - and applying the principles on my website (www.behappy101.com) and in this bi-monthly newsletter - you'll get the coaching and the “practice” you need to lead the happiest possible life. It takes daily action to get “perfect” at it, though. So, if you have read previous editions of The BeHappy! Newsletter you know that every issue provides some simple action-oriented exercises for the next two months (until the next edition of the newsletter) which relate to the main "subject" of this edition of the newsletter to help make happiness a habit. Just a few minutes of focus every day and you’ll be laying the foundation for the happiest possible life - both for yourself and for those you love. If you do these things, I can promise you’ll notice a big difference in the quality of your life. You will BeHappy! Actions for the next 60 days: Take these actions over the next sixty days and by the time you receive the next edition of the BeHappy! Newsletter (around the middle of October), you will know your own personal Definition of Happiness - and be able to use it as part of "The Happiness Formula" to improve your life significantly. The process here is essentially to address the five steps mentioned above in greater detail. Here we go... 1. What Makes You Happy Now? To start this process, you need to know what is (or could be) making you happy right now. So start by taking the first week of the next 60-day period to take an inventory of what is best about your life today. Think about it. You might come up with several things in the first few minutes. That’s great – and is usually a good start. Just don’t stop there. And, if it doesn't come quite so easily, it is important to know that there are always things about your life – at any point in time - which are positive and a potential part of your overall happiness. If life is really tough, though, sometimes it’s hard to think about anything good. The mind is very powerful and it can do amazing things – both positive and negative. So, even if nothing comes to mind immediately, keep searching. It will come. What is it about your life that makes you feel good in some way? Write down anything and everything that comes to mind. After the immediate responses that come to your mind, to add to the list (or even help you with the initial list) take the next several days to keep the following question in your mind: what are the best things in my life right now that add to my overall happiness? Is it:
Take a full week to ponder this concept. Don’t go on to the next step until you have taken the time to really integrate this concept into your mind (a week is ideal, but if it takes longer, that’s okay, too). For example, on the first day (today) make your initial list. Read it over a few times. The list will “go to bed with you” tonight and your subconscious mind will work on it. Read the list over one more time before you go to sleep tonight just to make sure. Then... Tomorrow, read the list over and add to the list the first thing that comes to your mind – even if it seems crazy or insignificant. Just write it down at the bottom of your list. If nothing new comes to mind, that’s okay, too. Next, walk around the place where you live. Notice what’s nice about your life situation. Is it the lake, garden, or swimming pool in your backyard? Is it the car in your garage or driveway? What about the dog or cat who cuddles up to you whenever they see you? Is it the fact that you are getting up to do whatever you do to generate income? (remember, even if you don’t like what you do, there are many people right now who would love to be doing it – or anything – to generate an income). Is it the spouse or significant other person in your life who loves you. Remember, even though you are making a list of things that are positive or just make you "feel good", it is very important to realize that the end objective here is to create your own personal Definition of Happiness. It is not just to make a list of things that simply make you feel good. This initial list is just the start of a process designed to help you know what will really make you as happy as you can be. There is much more to it than just this first step. These specifics will be used as a basis to create your definition, they will not be your definition. Some “trends” and “categories” will start to emerge as you go through the process. So just get started with this first part and then (and only then) move on to step 2... 2. What is Making You Unhappy? Once again, as discussed in the May edition of the Newsletter, eliminating unhappiness is an important part of developing authentic and total happiness. Gratitude (the first part of the “happiness equation”) is the best way to eliminate all or most unhappiness, but in this part of the process, that’s not the goal. The objective here is to understand what specifically is making you unhappy right now, so that you can design a better Definition of Happiness. Do any of the following examples of things that could make people unhappy apply to you?
So make a list. And again, take whatever time you need to make it as meaningful and honest as possible. Don’t go on to the next part until you have your list. This part should also take about a week (the second week of the process). Once you have this list, then go on to ... 3. What has made you happy in the past? Now that you have some thoughts written down of the things currently in your life which make you feel good (perhaps even happy) and which make you feel bad (possibly even unhappy), that’s still not all to it. For complete, authentic happiness to be possible, it’s important to explore both your past and your future to identify every possible component to your personal Definition of Happiness. To explore your past, you may need to get in a quiet spot - perhaps take a walk or sit in some serene place - maybe even close your eyes, and picture your life at various ages in the past. Picture yourself when you were ten years old. What made you happy back then? What did you love about life then? What did you dream about? What did you want to become? Then, move your mind to when you were a teenager. What were your passions? What did you love to do? What were your main interests? What made you feel fulfilled? Next, take your mind into your twenties and thirties. What were your goals and aspirations? Who did you like to be around? What kind of job did you have or career were you pursuing? What did you love to do? Who did you want to become? Keep doing this for various ages until you get close to your current age. Write down everything that comes to your mind. Some people get emotional during this part of the process as they "re-live" their lives and remember the great, happy, fulfilling times from the past. Make sure to do this properly. Go to that quiet, serene place. Close your eyes and "meditate" if it will help. Take several days to really get it all together. Then, once you have written down as many things as you can that made you happy in the past, it's time to explore... 4. What could make you happy in the future? Now, this may be the toughest part of the process, or the easiest part of the process. Either way, it’s an important part. You should now have three lists written down. The first list has everything in your life right now that is positive and makes you feel good. Things like your career, the town where you live, your family, friends or other relationships, your physical fitness or health, your income or financial level, etc. Anything that is positive about your life. The second list is no fun, but important. It’s everything in your life right now that is not good, negative, makes you feel bad, or in your mind, makes you “unhappy”. It could be some of the same kinds of things as mentioned before ... like your job, relationships, financial situation, health, etc. There may be some key things missing from your life or some major regrets you have. All these things should be on this second list. The third list is the result of a look back at what has made you happy, fulfilled, or "alive" in the past. Perhaps it was a childhood friend, traveling with your parents, a certain class in school, or even a summer job you really loved. Maybe it was your dream of becoming a pilot, teacher, mother, father, or professional athlete. Now, it’s time to look ahead. You need to project yourself into the future. What do you feel would make you happy in the next 10-50 years? Is it not an easy thing to do. This does not just mean that you say, “I’d be happy in the future if everything is perfect … no stress, no financial problems, great relationships, and excellent health”. It has to be much more thoughtful and specific than that. You need to use the other three lists you created (which is why I summarized them again above) and decide what really would make you a happy person forever. You may need to eliminate some significant regrets, for example. You might need to find your soul mate. You may need to change certain habits (even though you may not really want to today). Think about it carefully. Be honest with yourself. Be sure whatever you write down is a "must" for your happiness. In other words, without it, you could not be totally happy in your life, even if everything else was great. Make this list and then we’ll get to the really fun part... 5. Creating Your Personal Definition of Happiness OK. It’s time. You now have all the ingredients needed to create your personal Definition of Happiness. But, just like any recipe, you could have all the ingredients and still not end up with exactly what you want. You must have all the right ingredients AND put them all together in the right way AND do all the other things required to make it come out right. So, you now have the ingredients (your 4 lists). If you’ve done that part right, it should have taken you a few weeks. Basically, you should have taken about a week to create each list. Now, you need to spend the next few weeks (until the next edition of the newsletter around the middle of October) putting it all together in the right way to come up with your true personal Definition of Happiness. Here’s how to do it:
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